Carving Mr. Pinocchio's nose down to size...

Many years ago, Italian children’s author Carlo Collodi wrote a story about a wooden marionette, Pinocchio. This story comes to mind when people lie repeatedly – like Pinocchio, we imagine their noses growing as the lies get bigger. But what if you actually have worked for someone like this? What if every day, every week, throughout the year… and years….you watch as your boss begins to grow a nose? At first you think of it (of course) as a mistake until it happens again…and again…as you watch this boss “start to believe his own lies that he developed over the years.”

We have all seen someone tell little “white lies,” but what should you do if you watch his nose actually grow to legendary portions?

For me, I decided I could no longer “pretend” that he cannot control his “stretch of the truth” and this will be my final closure entry about his inability to tell the truth (as I have found since leaving that company, ALL who have dealt with Mr. Pinocchio are as disgruntled as well)...a day does not go by without someone asking me, "how in the hell did you put up with Mr. Pinocchio for so long?" Ensuring the fact that (although late) I made the perfect decision to move on with my life...after several months away from having my eye 'poked' by his growing nose...I am at a place I want to be....happy...

The story of my old boss goes something like this…….

It had been some time, since Mr. Pinocchio had become a real boy. And while initially he rejoiced in finding new life, soon enough life's troubles got to him. And so it came to be - that one night as Mr. Pinocchio sat desolate and alone staring at the sky, he caved in and summoned the Blue Fairy one more time..."Star shine star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish, I might - have the wish I wish tonight!" And sure enough, a blue star glowed all the more blue and through a sliver of light appeared the Blue Fairy! "Tell me boy" - she said "Why do you look so sad?"

"I don't like being a real boy" he said. ‘There’s too much lie and deceit in people. And I find myself hurting again and again. I wish I went back to being just a wooden puppet - and never felt anything - never knew pain.' The fair lady smiled at his appeal and waved her wand as she turned him into a wooden boy and bent down and ruffled his hair, then waved her wand again to turn him back alive. And blew a soft breeze to straighten his hair, restore them back to once they were - once again.

"Tell me boy, would you rather be a puppet - or once more be a real boy!" Mr. Pinocchio remained silent for quite a while and pondered hard in his little mind. "Sure enough, I'd felt no pain. It would be nice not to feel pain." "‘But I really want a different wish because I cannot make up my mind and move forward in the same direction." ..."I don't know what I want anymore!" said the little man.

"I want my nose to grow when I lie or do anything bad. But not just mine, I wish everyone had a nose like mine that would grow and shrink with the deeds of the man." The Blue fairy smiled again. "Strange it is, that you see a gift in what I once punished you with - This I will grant you - Pinocchio my boy. From now on your nose will grow and shrink with every lie!"

And so Mr. Pinocchio slept relieved. He thought, at least the world would be simpler. Oh! Yes - it definitely would be. He had made the new rules of the world. For once a person's face, would tell you all there is to be. He would no longer be lied to and never would have to face deceit ever again in his little mind. At last, a person would be only as beautiful as he deserves to be!!! Wake up he did next day, and went on about his little day with much confidence and perky in his step. A friend he met, “Worker” was his name, they had promised each other to buy new shoes together - and exactly the same shoes - and wear it to school on the same day! The would be partners of sort in the little village.

But when Mr. Pinocchio saw his friend's shoes, they were old. "Ah! You have broken your promise to me Worker! You did not get your shoes", he said. And Worker replied - 'No, I did go to the shop. I did not like the new shoes. No I did not!’ And sure enough as Mr. Pinocchio had wanted, Worker's nose grew larger even as he saw. "Oh! Worker boy…. Let it be, I shall go on with my day without a friend - without thee!" "I no longer need you like I had intended before...you are worthless to me now."

And so Mr. Pinocchio went on. And every person he met, he expected him to lie. And he rejoiced in joy as he saw their noses a tad too big, ‘Oh yes, a tad too large... A very good friend the Blue Fairy has been. He thought! "I will have to thank her." And so he called her again and asked from the blue star, a favor once again. Once again through a sliver of blue light, the Blue Fairy came alive. "Finally, you look happy my boy! - Tell me how was your little day?" "Oh, I called to thank you - my fair lady.....everyone’s nose has grown long," he said.

"'Really!?'" - The fairy said. "To annoy you then, I should tell you, they are really not as you think. I set them straight, not a tad too long, not a tad too large!" Downcast and with a broken heart, Mr. Pinocchio asked, "Must you lie too. Why set them straight. Why not keep them large??"

"For all is not as it seems, my boy." she said.

"Did you know Worker's mother is sick? And with no money, the shoes, he could not buy. Walked he did all the way to the shop and then kept the money to tend to his mother. Buy shoes - he did not. Though tears in his eyes, there were to be. I loved him more, for what he did. Yes, he lied to you, but out of shame and not deceit. Had you bothered to ask, a good friend you might have been…."

Awful and ashamed Mr. Pinocchio felt now. 'Oh! Such a bad friend he was!'

"You seem to have noticed everyone's nose. You did not check yours? Did you not? - The fair lady asked." 'No, my lady I did not’ he said….as he saw with shock and horror, his own nose, had grown so very long, oh so large. "My lady, I did not do any wrong. I did not know about the Worker. How could I have known he did not deceive??? Tell me - why has only my nose grown large!!"

"You should have asked about Worker, he was your friend and was loyal to you for many, many years, Mr. Pinocchio. Instead you rejoiced in everyone's misery and delighted in their fall. Vengeance is never a virtue. It shall never be. It never was!" And so Mr. Pinocchio went completely silent as he realized what he had done. He did not know what to do. "Is there no one perfect? No one good - including me??" -he asked. "No, my dear" - The lady answered.

You see Mr. Pinocchio, "Like the fingers of your hand" - she said, "No one is powerful alone. But together as a hand, they are. Each one has its own purpose. Together you can build the world as it should be!" Then with a wave of her wand, she made Pinocchio's nose shrink back. Alas! A bit relieved he felt. He wasn't a bad boy he thought, not a bad boy after all......whew! He was thankful.....

"And sure I can make you of wood again. And sure you would never feel pain. But life as you have learned is strange and you will miss out on joy as well." "You are wise my lady. You know it all. But I get fooled by people's words and promises and believe them to be virtuous as they claim to be. I have been hurt many times only because I chose to believe!" - Mr. Pinocchio exclaimed. "In that you are right my boy. You should choose your friends carefully, in your case very, very carefully. But do not judge people - just so quickly. Do not always assume the worst in people without finding the truth. You know you are an evil thinker Mr. Pinocchio. The truth is often different - do not judge them - so hastily", the fair lady replied.

Mr. Pinocchio then sat back in his borrowed chair, folded his arms over his enormous belly, rolled his eyes into the back of his head and replied, “All people in the village love me and I am the most wonderful person…I am the closest to perfect as you will ever see Fairy!” “You should be happy to be able to grant me wishes!” "I am the best friend, the best boss, and best teacher of anyone available...you should see that clearly...all others do!" "People will be on a waiting list to work for me!" As he sits alone at his desk reading his emails......

And with that the Blue Fairy began to glow even more beautifully than ever before as she realized that sometimes she cannot save the ones that are not willing to save themselves (all the wishes in the world will not help this one)…this one has no clue what loyalty, friendship, and happiness is about outside his little shop....with sawdust on the floor....

Too charming and lovely to behold she was. She kissed Pinocchio on his wooden head and turned into a star once again.

New shoes fit just fine!

Run your race, not someone else's

“Two men were walking in a forest, when they suddenly saw a savage, hungry-looking bear. One of the men quickly put on a pair of running shoes. The other guy exclaimed, “You idiot! You can’t run faster than a bear …”

To which the first guy replied, “But I don’t have to run faster than the bear, I only have to run faster than you!”

I have heard that little story told to get the wrong point across (especially from a former boss of mine). Usually the person relating the story uses it as a spring board to convey some point along these lines. “If you want to be successful,

Tracy, you must outrun your competition. No. He was missing the bigger picture.

I caught myself falling into that line of thinking at my last job. Things have been nuts this year (ok…ok….watch the news for 5 minutes and see doom and gloom). We’ve all been scrambling just to keep our heads above water. But you know what? I woke up and realized one day…”Is this the best I can be?”….”Being surrounded by people that are so worried about the competition…so worried about the economy….…..so worried about what is being said about them in the marketplace…..”

Run your race, not someone else's.

My new thinking…..”Truly successful people don’t keep their eyes on everyone else’s progress. They keep their eyes on their own lane.” If you measure your success relative to how everyone else is doing you’ll probably end up far below your potential. I will be running my own race from now on.

We all have seeds of greatness planted within us. Those precious seeds will ultimately come to fruition when we maximize our potential. And we can’t maximize our potential when we are focused on how poorly people around us are doing.

Run your race, not someone else's.

Rather than simply trying to outrun the next guy, take a close look at which track you are on. Too many people have spent their entire lives climbing the ladder of success only to find they had it leaning against the wrong wall. MAKE SURE you get your ladder against the right wall…..mine wasn’t for years.

Ask yourself…are you running the best race for you? Or are you running someone else’s race better than they are?

Run your race, not someone else's.

Take the time to find the best race for you to run. Then don’t let yourself get distracted by how “others” are running the race you were meant to run. Run your race to the absolute best of your ability.

Now…excuse me while I lace-up my new pair of running shoes……

My backyard buddy...

I have a buddy that visits me each day. Hummingbirds are very small birds with a high metabolism. A great deal of energy is spent flying, so they must feed almost constantly. This little guy....and his buddies keep me busy making fresh batches for the feeders.

Hummingbirds can consume up to twice their body weight in nectar every day. They usually feed on nectar and insects. Hummingbirds actually lap up the nectar with their tongues. A lot of people think that hummingbirds have a hollow tongue like a straw. Their tongues do have grooves on the sides that collect nectar. When the bill constricts, the hummingbird can swallow the nectar from flowers and feeders.

Hummingbirds are able to perch and will do so at my feeders regularly. Because they fly so much, they have poorly developed feet. They can barely walk at all. The hummingbird is much more comfortable in flight.

The flight of hummingbirds is amazing to watch. They are able to fly up, down, forward, backward and sideways. They can stop in midair. Hummingbirds are famous for their aerial display. Some displays are courtship displays; other displays are aggressive. Hummingbirds fly great distances when they are migrating. The Ruby-throated Hummingbird migrates approximately 600 miles across the Gulf of Mexico.

Hummingbirds lack a true song. Instead, they vocalize chirping notes. Most calls are short buzz trills and chirps. Hummingbirds' wings 'buzz' or make a whirring sound while the birds are in flight. This sound is referred to as a "wing whistle." As a matter of fact...I think I hear him saying, "Hey mister!! Your birdfeeder's empty!!"...(gotta go)

Was I the odd man out?

Every business organization has a unique set of challenges and problems. The small family business is no different. Many of these problems exist in corporate business environments, but can be exaggerated in a family business. Family businesses go through various stages of growth and development over time. Many of these challenges will be found once the second and subsequent generations enter the business.

A famous saying about family owned business in Mexico is “Father, founder of the company, son rich, and grandson poor.” The founder works and builds a business, the son takes it over and is poorly prepared to manage and make it grow but enjoys the wealth, and the grandson inherits a dead business and empty bank account.

Here is why I hate the challenges of a tiny family business.......

Emotions. Family problems will affect the business. Divorce, separations, health or financial problems also create difficult political situations for the family members (money will be siphoned from the profits...any excuse will do). Informality. Absence of clear policies and business norms for family versus non-family members (they are NEVER the same for family members...they just want you to think so). Tunnel vision. Lack of outside opinions and diversity on how to operate the business cause a stale environment. Lack of written strategy. No documented plan or long-term planning (outside of selling the business to family members). Compensation problems for family members. Dividends, salaries, benefits and compensation for non-participating family members are not clearly defined and justified (like paying a 'part-time' family member a HUGE salary for a few days of work).

Role confusion. Roles and responsibilities must be clearly defined (family members get special treatment....be honest...you know they do). Lack of talent. Hiring family members who are not qualified or lack the skills and abilities for the organization and the inability to fire them when it is clear they are not working out. High turnover of non-family members. When employees feel that the family “mafia” will always advance over outsiders and when employees realize that management is incompetent and "paralyzed" to change it....Succession Planning. Most family organizations do not have a plan for handing the power to the next generation, leading to great political conflicts and divisions (and what about the non-family members who got you there?)

Retirement and estate planning. Long-term planning to cover the necessities and realities of older members when they leave the company (if the company stays in business that long). Training. There should be a specific training program when you integrate family members into the company. This should provide specific information that related to the goals, expectations and obligations of the position (why not? All non-family members do this…). Paternalistic. Control is centralized and influenced by tradition instead of good management practices (oh my...don't get me started). Overly Conservative. Older family members try to preserve the status quo and resist change. Especially resistance to ideas and change proposed by the younger generation.

Communication problems. Provoked by role confusion, emotions (envy, fear, anger), political divisions or other relationship problems. Systematic thinking. Decisions are made day-to-day in response to problems. No long-term planning or strategic planning (knee-jerk reactions….). Exit strategy. No clear plan on how to sell, close or walk away from the business (only tunnel-vision of making sure the family takes over the business). Business valuation. No knowledge of the worth of the business, and the factors that make (or MADE) it valuable or decrease its value (just that "this is my retirement plan....when I sell it to my children)

Growth. Problems due to lack of capital and new investment or resistance to re-investment in the business (because the “family members” need to be taken care of financially…new cars, weddings, college....right now!). Vision. Each family member has a different vision of the business and different goals (this is enough to drive ANY non-family member out-the-door. Control of operations. Difficult to control all members of the family from lack of participation in the day-to-day work and supervision required (but let’s face it….how hard can this possibly be?...if you can serve coffee….you can sell office furniture…right?)...

comments anyone?